The Home/Uni Balance

I’m almost at the end of my second year at university now, which is crazy to me! One of the most frequently asked questions I have, by family, friends, Freshers is ‘How long are you going home for?’ I still think of ‘Home’ as they place where my family live and that’s where I spend my summers and generally Christmas and Easter. In my first year I was conscious of not going home too early on in the year. I was painfully homesick at the start of first year and immediately wanted to go home. I held off for five weeks though and this was such a good decision. Had I gone running home in week 1, I never would have come back, and then I would have missed out on some of the best times of my life so far. In first year, the struggle is very much about resisting the temptation to run home every weekend. Whether that be for the home-cooked food, for your mum doing your washing or simply because you’d rather spend time with your ‘old’ friends than the people you’ve met at Uni.

However, at some point over the first two years at Uni (or so I and some of my friends have found) is the moment I like to call ‘The Switch’. The moment you’re packing up your dirty washing and your laptop at Uni and thinking, ‘Actually, I think I’d rather stay here.’ It has happened - the moment Uni seems more appealing than Home.

Now, this is not necessarily a negative thing and will most likely happen for several reasons. Wanting to stay at Uni rather than home, in a way, marks the development in your independence. You now rely less on your parents and more just on yourself. Going home can feel a bit suffocating as you no longer have the independence which you do at Uni. It also shows that you enjoy the freedom, and however easy going your parents may be, it is no comparison from the freedom you have when at Uni. ‘The Switch’ may also happen because in some ways you feel a lot more comfortable at Uni than Home, particularly if you live in a house, rather than halls. In your student house you can set the rules – it is your house. But when you go home, you have to pay a certain amount of respect to your Home house. Suddenly it feels a lot less like your family home and a lot more like your parents home. You almost feel like a guest who has to ask permission to do and use things all the time. Again, I would say that this just marks that you have grown up and become a lot more mature and rely less on your parents to get by day to day, which is no bad thing.

A word of warning though. Perhaps it’s not the best idea to confide to your parents about how coming Home is not as appealing as it once was. You don’t want your mum to think you don’t love her anymore or you dad to start questioning you as to what you’re ‘getting up to in your digs’ that is so much more fun than the activities he has planned for you at home. And also perhaps remember that whilst you may no longer feel like staying the whole month of Christmas or Easter at home, it is a good idea to get away for a little while. It stops the family from being offended and also provides a little respite from the Uni bubble, which you may not even know you needed. After all, we all need our mum’s washing help and our Dad’s roast once in a while.

- Alex